We had Beckham sleeping mostly pretty well before Thanksgiving - he would wake up only once a night and for naps I could just lay him in his crib and he would fall asleep. Now after a month and a half of traveling and craziness he wakes up 2-3 times a night again and needs me to rock him to sleep for naptime.
His naps are only about 45 minutes to an hour (there are 3 per day...and I should mention that naptime and bedtime happen at the same time every day at least). It should also be mentioned that when he is awake he is a very happy baby usually.
I've read Babywise (a few times actually) and Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby. I know they say to cry it out - but it kills me. I can't count on all my fingers and toes the number of times I've said to myself "Ok, today is the day - I can do this...I'll just let him cry". Only to run up to his crib 5 minutes later because my heart was breaking.
It seems like people are split down the middle as far as what is best for baby. My biggest concern is not my sleep deprivation, but if I am spoiling him and not doing what is best for him.
But I just don't have the heart to let him cry. Or the willpower. Any tips???
14 comments:
Let him cry it out! You can do it!! I promise it will be worth it in the end. He is not hurt and he is getting used to the pattern that if he cries, you come running. My biggest advice is to let him cry it out. Step outside if it is getting too tough for you. It will really pay off in the end. Doing this now will teach him how to self sooth... something that all little ones need to learn.
Taryn,
It really depends on what you can stand. If you are tired and he is doing it too often then let him cry. He will be okay. However, there is no way that you are spoiling him at this age. He is the trust vs. mistrust stage of development. He is crying because he has a need. That need may be attention. There is nothing wrong with him wanting attention or you not giving it to him every time he cries or wants something. The key is consistency. If you start to ignore his cries during the night, then try to keep up with it. This is coming from a child therapist that has no kids. Do what feels right.
Is he 6 months yet? I think after he is 6 months you have to let him cry as long as it is not time to eat. I know it is hard. I don't know about Brendon, but it was much easier for Jason, so for three nights at bedtime when she would cry the most, I would leave the house so I didn't have to hear it and Jason would be the "tough one". After three nights, she didn't cry anymore. Good luck.
We just went through the same thing with Liam and it was so frustrating because he had been sleeping so well. I was really stressing about having to let him cry as well - I found out quickly I'm not good at that. Turns out, he has been teething. Amazingly (knock on wood) after two teeth coming in, he's back to sleeping through the night again! So, my procrastination of letting him cry it out worked for me. You never know.
We did the cry it out method...kinda. I read a book its actually on pdf and I could email it to you. And it gives you the option of totally crying it out or the other option of you staying in the room and then slowly night after night you move closer to the door until your not in the room anymore, etc. We did the let her cry for 10 minutes and then go in and rub their back to soothe them but DON"T pick them up or talk to them(I think) and then go back out. The first night Ashlynn cried for 50 minutes and then the second only 15 minutes and the third not at all.....but once she got in a big girl bed it was all down hill from there =) If you want me to email you the book I can!
You NEED to let him cry it out. It is best for you and for him. It is easier to sleep train a child now then when they can climb out of their bed and you can't keep them there.
You can do it. It would KILL me too to let my boys cry it out. I used to set the timer for 30 minutes and force myself to NOT go in their room. In the beginning my mom and Rob used to have to hold me back from going in there. My mom gave me some really good advise. When the baby is screaming their hardest and you think you will die listening for one more minute, just wait, they are hitting their peak and it was true, EVERY TIME, if I waited a few minutes more, they would conk out. You will be surprised that after a few times or a week he will get the whole thing and you will wonder why you didn't do it again. It is also important that he has a consistent schedule of sleeping/playing etc during the day or it is much harder at night (at least with mine). I am a huge fan of Babywise (though I disagree with letting a baby cry it out for hours on end). Both my boys slept through the night at 8 weeks and Allie did at 10 weeks and they all still do without any crying (of course with a few normal bumps in the road...sickness, growing pains etc) and they DID NOT come as easy sleepers, we had to make them that way. Anyway, that is my two cents.... hope it helps.
First of all, he is still a baby and you can not spoil him too much. This is written on the bottom of all paperwork I get from my pediatrician's office. As I type this out, I am letting my 3 month baby cry it out. I really try to be tough and turn the music up, do the dishes or generally create some noise to distract me from his crying. It's hard, sometimes I can't stand it and give in.
Perhaps, Beckham is teething. Try picking up Hyland's teething tablets from your local drug store. They dissolve quickly and tend to calm a generally happy baby down. Thus, allowing your baby to fall asleep. Talk to your pediatrician, pharmacist and google it. Some think the tablets are more for the placebo effect, I swear by them. It would not hurt to try. Good luck!
I just went through this with Baker this week! Let him cry it out. He is fine! He will be ok! And he will be happier for it. If it totally kills you to hear him scream for a while, leave him home with Daddy and go to Target. By the time you get back he will be asleep! And the next night will be better, and the night afgter that even better. Pretty soon he will be sleeping great. Baker still wakes up a few times a night, but he does go down on his own. It is hard, but its good too. Good luck!
ps. i agree with using hylands teething tablets. we swear by them!
Has there ever been a mom who hasn't had this problem? Probably not. :) I am not at all opposed to letting babies cry it out. That said, we just tried it with Sabrina and it did not work for her. After three nights of her crying constantly, I knew I had to try something different. For the last week I have used the pick up/put down method in the book "The Baby Whisperer Solves all Your Problems." This book has been amazing for me. I can't believe how well Sabrina has responded. She now goes down for naps in her crib without crying and sleeps from 1 1/2- 2 hours. She still wakes up once around 5 or 6 am to feed, but that's after sleeping for 8 hours. If crying it out doesn't work for you, give this a try!
You won't like my answer but you have to let him cry it out. Every time you go in and rock him he expects that in order to go to sleep. you're not helping him by doing that and not allowing him to learn how to self soothe.
He's not hungry, has a clean diaper...he's fine. Babies need to learn to self soothe or you'll have a three year old on your hand that still won't sleep through the night without being rocked or held until they fall asleep...and that's not helping you or them.
I know this seems harsh but turn down your baby monitor, so you can't hear him screaming as much. Take turns with your husband being the "Strong one" that night, helping the other one NOT go get the baby.
The first week or so (at most) will be the hardest and the longest...but if you give in after letting him cry it out say after 2 days or so then those two days you just let him cry were worth nothing and you're back to square one. Make sense? After about a week or so he'll soothe himself and know that you're not coming back in to hold/rock him and he'll get used to the routine of him soothing himself.
I have a ton more I could tell you that is simply just my opinion but I don't want to write a novel...email me if you have questions, I'm happy to help.
Hey Taryn, I'm probably the oldest of your replys. Having 5 kids 4 grandkids and many infants when i did day care. Let him cry it out. But also have a radio,cd player with music softly playing. This way he also builds a tolerance with noises and learns to sleep thru even the loudest noises. This worked great with each of my kids. Even Katrina uses this. hope this helps let me know. love ya Myrrissa
ps. Forgot to tell you....both my girls have a small fan in their room that I turn on. The white noise helps calm them and helps when we have people over after they go to bed :). If we forget to turn on the fan they let us know...it really does help them sleep.
Taryn, I'm so sorry that you're having trouble with your little guy's sleeping. That is the worst! I would say do whatever works best for you, but eventually I believe that kids have to learn at some point to put themselves to sleep. My first we did cry it out. Second slept in our bed when she nursed (which was about every night for 17 months). She is our worst sleeper, even now and she's three. Wrigley our last I take into his room sing him a few songs while he lays on my shoulder then usually lays down and goes right to sleep in his crib. I definately say that routine has been most helpful this time around. Good luck, its no fun for anyone to have a sleep-deprived mommy.
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